Alice is a very busy parent, business woman and ambassador health and looking good on the inside and out. I was listening to BBC Radio Kent on another crazy school run when I heard a story about separated families and step-parents, brother and sisters. Some was very positive and others not. I immediately thought of Alice and asked her to write this for the benefit of my clients.
“The ‘traditional family’ wasn’t meant to be for us. Instead, we have extended it beyond the point of no return and this goes right back to my grandparents and parents….
It was something I felt alone in a lot of the time growing up, even though I had friends who had been brought up in separated families, this was my family and no-one understood as far as I was concerned. It felt different, it felt unhappy for a very long time and I was angry at my Mum, Dad and Stepdad for their differentiating opinions and morals.
It’s always been at the forefront of my mind that in order to avoid similar situations to the ones I was put in growing up. I have tried my best to ensure my daughter and step daughters are heard, that their thoughts and feelings are spoken about and if there’s anything we can do as their parents to be better, to do better and to show them a better way, for all our sakes. It’s not easy, it takes time and consistency, but the hard work is definitely paying off.
As a child of separated parents, it’s always been important to me that my daughter has quality time with me, her Daddy and now Lee. It doesn’t benefit anyone to try and control or manipulate situations, to try and keep your children away from certain individuals, unless there’s a seriously valid reason of course, but it’s important they’re given the opportunity to grow relationships with the people who love and care for them. This has been a big factor in recent weeks for us as we needed some quality time away from everyone and ‘normal life’ to ensure my daughter and my partner got to know each other better. And that happened perfectly with a week away in Tenerife (a few cocktails definitely helped Mummy to relax and enjoy their company). 😏
When you’re caught up in separations as a child, it’s easy for the parents to forget that these little eyes are watching and their little minds are going through their own rollercoaster of emotions too. We need to help them understand that things are different now, but different doesn’t have to mean sad or unhappy. Different can mean even more love and happiness and that’s exactly what our girls have, the love of a whole other family as well.
There’s room for everyone in their little hearts if we show them that it’s totally possible without having to remove anyone from that space.
Gratitude. Love. Happiness. Family. Big Hearts. It’s down to us as adults to show them what’s possible”.💝
Alice continues to inspire me, make me laugh and change people’s lives. I particularly love this line, 'Different doesn’t have to mean sad or unhappy. Different can mean even more love and happiness'.